Blanket over the ears until early morning
"The teenager needs someone to listen to at night, but certainly doesn't want to wake up in the morning."
In this guest column, Elina Marjamäki, an expert at Mieli Mental Health Finland, examines the sleep of adolescents. Marjamäki holds a Master of Social Sciences and works at MIELI ry as a specialist in mental health promotion. She provides training on strengthening mental health for professionals working with children and young people, as well as for parents and anyone who encounters children and adolescents through their work or volunteer activities.
“When a young man sleeps, it’s like putting money in the bank”, an old proverb says.
Proverbs are wise and comforting, but it can be hard to connect with your inner saver when your own child reaches their teenage years. The once‑cooperative child who went to bed without fuss transforms into a nighttime mystery. They absolutely will not go to sleep at a reasonable hour, and in the morning, they won’t wake up at a human time unless forced.
At four in the afternoon, the teen sincerely wonders what on earth is wrong.
You come home on a weekend afternoon after grocery shopping and having coffee with a friend, only to find your beloved offspring still peacefully asleep, even though the clock is striking four. The teen looks at you in genuine confusion when you yank the blanket off their ears and tell them to get up.
Research indicates that sleep rhythms undergo changes during puberty. The secretion of melatonin, the hormone that helps you fall asleep, begins later than in adults and young children, and it also clears more slowly from the body, making mornings harder. This means that sending a teen to bed at 11 pm is like asking an adult to fall asleep at 7 pm Likewise, waking a teen at 8 am is comparable to an adult trying to wake up at three in the morning. In this case, knowledge doesn’t add to the pain – it’s actually helpful for adults to understand these changes. It gives you some distance and helps you, at least in theory, react with less emotion to your teen’s upside‑down sleep cycle.
My lovely nieces once demonstrated impressive sleeping skills on a family trip to a spa hotel that allowed dogs. The kind waiter had served the family dog a delicious bone steak at dinner the night before. It tasted great, but unfortunately, the dog developed severe diarrhea during the night. Yet nothing disturbed the teenagers’ sleep – not the nighttime “theatre of the gods”, not the extra smells in the room, not the dog’s restlessness. They slept like Sleeping Beauty well into the late morning.
Teenagers need 8–10 hours of sleep per night, but today there are plenty of distractions that challenge sleep. The smartphone lies next to the bed, and snaps from other night owls keep chiming in. Of course, the teen has to check them.
Your task is to stay awake when your teen wants to talk at midnight.
You may wistfully remember how you used to relax in the evenings, enjoying your favorite show in peace once your school‑aged child drifted off to dreamland. Now that peace is gone, and to top it off, your moody teen suddenly wants to have deep conversations just as you’re about to fall asleep. That’s the moment when they feel ready to share what’s on their mind. This is when you should push through your own tiredness and be ready to listen – because that connection strengthens both of your mental well‑being.
It’s worth talking with your teen about the importance of sleep and exploring together what kinds of habits might make bedtime more appealing. What would make going to bed feel inviting? Caffeinated energy drinks are best avoided during the day. Keeping the phone out of the bedroom is a great idea. If leaving it in another room is impossible, at least it should be on silent or airplane mode overnight. Scrolling through social media delays falling asleep and worsens sleep quality, researcher Laura Kortesoja reminds us. She notes that “of all media types, watching movies or listening to music late at night was linked to increased daytime tiredness, while late‑night social media use was associated with poor sleep quality.” Adults, too, could benefit from putting the phone away in the evenings to improve both the amount and quality of sleep. [1]
A book doesn't vibrate, ping, snap, or glow blue.
A traditional book is an excellent sleep aid – if you can somehow smuggle such a radical idea into a teenager’s mind. You often only need to read a few pages before sleepiness kicks in. Studies show that reading before bed also improves sleep quality. In one randomized trial, 42% of evening readers slept better, compared to only 28% of non‑readers. A paper book doesn’t flash, snap, or emit blue light; instead, it gently slows the mind toward sleep. [2].
Good, restorative sleep is one of the most important pillars of mental health. Sleep strengthens a young person’s mental well‑being, reduces anxiety and depression, and helps regulate strong emotions. It’s also crucial for learning. But before you, as the parent of a sleepless teen, sink into complete despair, remember that this disrupted sleep rhythm is only a temporary phase. One day, this very same teen will lose their patience with their own teenager’s upside‑down sleep schedule.
[1] Kortesoja Laura, Vainikainen Mari-Pauliina, Hotulainen Risto & Merikanto Ilona: Late-Night Digital Media Use in Relation to Chronotype, Sleep and Tiredness on School Days in Adolescence. Journal of Youth And Adolescence. Volume 52, pages 419–433, (2023)
[2] Pubmed: Does reading a book in bed make a difference to sleep in comparison to not reading a book in bed? The People's Trial - an online, pragmatic, randomised trial.
